Friday, April 25, 2008

God's Laws

Dear President Bush,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and try to understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said 'in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman.' I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that you say in Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate...I think?
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Anonymous said...

OK, Mark. I tried posting a comment a minute ago, but it didn't to through. Someone is trying to prevent me from reaching you.

Did you post this just to get my reaction? Because you have to know that I'll have to respond to this blabbering sarcasm.

Whoever wrote this clearly does not understand the Bible--let alone Leviticus. Have you ever read Leviticus? It is definitely difficult to understand, but it can be if it's read in light of the rest of the Bible. Would you like answers to all of these questions, or do you not care?


Anonymous said...

If anyone is interested, here are some answers to those Levitical laws. They were given to a specific people (Israelites) at a specific time for a specific reason, and the New Testament says they no longer apply to Christians:

No mere man has perfectly fulfilled the Law as God demands (Gl 3:10; 1 Jn 1:8); all are sinners (Eph 2:3; Ro 3:22–23), subject to temporal and eternal punishment (Lv 26:14–43; Dt 27:14–26; 28:15–68: Ro 6:23). But Christ fulfilled the Jewish ceremonial and pol. laws as well as the moral law (Mt 22:21; Luke 2:22–39; 1 Ptr 2:21–22). He also bore the punishment for our sins (1 Co 15:3; Gl 3:13; 1 Ptr 2:24). The Christian, then, is no longer under the Law. (Ro 6:14; Gl 5:18)

More verses to look up. Just remember that you can never come to a conclusion on a single verse without reading it in context and in light of the entire Scripture.